• Ellie Chadwick

Here I go



I’m sitting in aisle 41 on AirAsia Airbus A330 bound for Kuala Lumpur.

I’m surprisingly calm.

I said goodbye to my parents who wished me luck, told me to stay safe and that they were proud of me and love me.

I can remember how I felt the first time I waved my parents goodbye as I went through the gate, my eyes welled up and I sobbed for an hour.

Not because I was upset but because I was brave enough to do what I really wanted and my parents supported me.

This is my fourth trip to Cambodia and this time it feels different.

It’s incredible what you learn with age.

I feel surer of myself.

I feel more relaxed.

I feel confident.

I know now what I can offer and what to expect in return. I come with a lifetime of experiences and skills which will be met with kindness and gratitude.

Kindness and gratitude takes the form of a toothy smile and food offerings.

I am so open and ready for what’s to come.

It feels natural, organic, effortless.

Like it’s meant to be this way, everything is working out.

I trusted in my intuition and it’s taken me to the place I need to be.

It’s an incredibly liberating feeling.

I don’t have any doubts. I’m not second-guessing myself or feeling like I’m missing out on something. Most importantly I’m not seeking acceptance or approval from anyone else.

I’m here and I’m doing this.

I’m here and I’m doing this.


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